Agent Washington (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
schrodingerscockroach) wrote2020-01-30 01:44 am
schrodingerscockroach) wrote2020-01-30 01:44 am
Memory 30
Significant Negative: Article 12.
Visual Montage Summary
Wash wakes up in a hospital after the crash of the Mother of Invention. He's been unconscious for a while and besides pleas for someone to 'stop' or 'calm down,' he was largely unresponsive. Wash says he doesn't remember anything about the crash. Just waking up and being told Epsilon was pulled. He's told he's been certified Article 12. Officially insane and unfit for duty.
He doesn't fight, he doesn't protest. The next scene is him in a small, padded cell, pacing and muttering to himself. Mostly facts. He likes dogs. Or was it cats? He's twenty-three. He's Agent Washington. He likes jerky. No, fruit. Time passes, him always in the room, in better states and worse states. Sometimes clawing at the walls, sometimes staring at nothing, sometimes just trying to distract himself with the holopad for reading.
"What is your name?" Asks a man, always wearing the same uniform, but the stutter of the words and the way he changes positions and lighting differs says this is something that was asked more than once. Something that continues with conversations.
"I'm Doctor Leonard Church."
"And how old are you?"
"Forty-two."
"And what do you last remember of the military?"
"They made me explain my project theory for the tenth time. I swear to god, we could have won this war if not for all this damned red tape."
"And when was the last time you spoke with Agent Carolina?"
"Carolina? Wh-"
Then Wash screams, he panics, he shuts down.
"What is your name?"
"Epsilon."
"And how old are you?"
"I'm-why can't I access the date?"
"There are no out bound signals here."
"What? But if I'm talking, shouldn't I be in a device with an internal clock? Wait....wait, don't I have a partner?"
"Yes, you do. Would you like to tell me about them?"
"What? No, I mean, where are they? Where is....Washington? No, no that doesn't-it can't be Wash-"
"Why can't it be Agent Washington?"
"Because he's-he's-"
Frantic breathing, curling up, clutching at his chest as he starts to panic, sometimes screams, he never shuts down after Epsilon, his reactions are always violent.
"What is your name?"
"...."
"What is your name?"
"Am I still in Project Freelancer?"
"Technically, yes."
"Then Agent Washington."
"That's not your real nam-"
"That person is MIA. Until I either die or am discharged formally from the Project, my only name is Agent Washington."
"And how old are you?"
"Depends on the date. I know the last one I remember on the MOI, but I can't remember how long I've been here. Brain damage does that. Last I checked, I was twenty-three"
"Are you experiencing feelings of hostility right now, Agent Washington?"
"I'm not exactly thrilled being stuck in a glass box with no protection if the aliens get this far."
"You're still concerned for the war?"
"You've seen my file. I don't remember a day I haven't been concerned about the war."
"Hm, that is very interesting."
"Yeah, I bet it is."
Sometimes these just end abruptly, other times just with his silence.
There are flashes of him on his side, blood on his fingers, and pooling on the floor from behind him, and people rushing in, talking about his neck.
"I'm Agent Washington, I'm Agent Washington, I'm Agent Washington." Words on repeat in flashes.
He screams about how he's supposed to help people survive locked in a cell and punches at the glass that refuses to break.
One day, he wakes up in power armor. He sees it's the barebones shell. He has a gun with no ammo. When the nurse comes, who looks like some newbie, he asks about it. The nurse says they needed him to calm down. He almost damaged an artery this time. "This time?" "You scratched your neck again." "Oh..."
"I thought we could try something else today." It's the first instance where nothing about the counselor changes.
"Like what?"
"It seems when we focus inward, you'll start to have a panic attack. I looked over your file again and I thought perhaps if you had some external things to focus on, you might do better."
"Oh really? I'm sure my hatred of being psychoanalyzed has nothing to do with that."
"No reason to be hostile, Agent Washington. I thought you'd like to know about your friends."
"..."
"They're mostly MIA."
"Well that's just dandy. Everyone in charge was kind of an asshole anyway."
"You think it's good that they abandoned their post?"
There is a long pause. Then a sigh. "No. Not with the war going on."
"So you think they should have stayed?"
"....yeah. It's for the greater good. For everyone."
He watches as the counselor writes intently.
"Agent Carolina died during the crash."
"...."
"Do you have feelings about that, Agent Washington?"
"She should have been better." Delivered cold and matter of fact.
He's told about break ins. How it's rumored it's former Freelancers. Nothing confirmed yet, but he always perks up at those mentions.
"They broke into the facility. I don't suppose you could tell me about it?"
"They did?" He's surprised. "I didn't hear any alarms."
"Oh, my mistake. I meant they broke into the AI facility."
There's a beat. Then a scoff. "Then why the hell would I know anything about it?" But he sounds just a bit more heated than he has before.
"Oh. Before I left, I wanted to wish you a happy anniversary."
"What?"
"It's been a year since you've been committed, Agent Washington. While I think you could have made more progress, you at least haven't stagnated. Have a good day."
The counselor leaves and for a long time, Wash just stares at the window.
Then he wrecks his bed, tearing apart his mattress and pillow, and just screaming at the ceiling.
"And if you're good, we can get you cak-" A nurse started. Then there's nothing. "-ington. Agent Washington!"
"What?" He jerks up.
"I think you zoned out again. I've been talking for three minutes."
"Oh. Sorry, just....tired."
The nurse looks at him with concern. "Maybe I could see about getting you a tv or something? I don't think you do well with silence."
Wash chuckles. "Well, it would be nice."
"Hm. All right, I'll see what I can do!"
Wash watches the nurse go. Then after a minute, he sighs. "And that would be the fifty-sixth new nurse tomorrow."
More conversations with the counselor. More of the same questions. Though later and later on, he only says Agent Washington as his name. The counselor also does a lot of gaslighting. Talking about how the other Freelancers abandoned their posts. How Wash would be so useful if he was just better. How slow his progress is. Is he sure he doesn't remember anything more with Epsilon? No, he doesn't.
One year, two year, getting close to three when the counselor asks.
"It doesn't seem like your disassociation episodes are lessening, Agent Washington."
"Yeah, well, that's not exactly much to do."
"You can become completely unresponsive."
He sighs. "What do you want me to say? There's nothing here. There's no point to my existence. Want me to change, then let me just....do something!"
The counselor seems to consider this. "A job, hm?"
Wash perks up at that.
"Let me think see what I can come up with."
Wash watches him go. Then he fistbumps. "About time."
And after probably about an hour of montage content, the memory ends.
Indepth Summary
This takes place after the MOI Crash and before Recovery One. This time lasts roughly three years.
Wash wakes up in in a hospital. He's hurting and he's told about the Mother of Invention crash. He's told nothing else about it at first, but instead it's brought up he's been more or less in a coma, though there was a lot of near conscious states with begging for someone to 'stop' and 'calm down.'
He knows he was dreaming of Epsilon, reliving what happened. He knows he was injured in the crash. He says he doesn't remember anything. He's then informed he's been certified Article 12. Unfit for duty.
Insane.
He'll be put in isolation, in a psyche ward that Project Freelancer controls. And he knows. He knows they suspect what's happened, but they have no proof, and they can't just kill him. Either because they can't quite make him disappear, or because they don't know if they're done with him. Either way, he knows he's in for hell.
He doesn't remember the first few weeks well at all. Locked in a room with only his thoughts doesn't go well. He has enough control to not give himself away, but the details are fuzzy. All he remembers is the feeling of his mind being torn apart, that he's in danger, he's going to die he's going to die he's going to die-
Then one day he wakes up in power armor. He looks it over, realizes it's bare bones, it's not enough to break out. He also has a gun, with no ammo. He realizes it's to get him to calm down. He must have said something, though he doesn't remember what. He's given enough to feel safe enough to maintain his sanity.
Well, he's not going to complain about it.
But the questions come. Usually through a reinforced glass wall. He's asked about Epsilon a lot. He says he doesn't remember any details. Just that Epsilon was unraveling, that he couldn't tell who was who at the time, then he died. The questions get more insistent, more persistent.
He starts faking panic attacks. It takes a few times to figure out how to do it right without fucking himself up, but he used to have anxiety attacks, and he knows what he needs to do to achieve them. As soon as the questions get too problematic, start digging at memories and making him lose himself, he starts the attack and they back off. Over time, as they try to manipulate him, break him, he'll use it often. As well as just zoning out. Shutting things down. Anything and everything to get them to realize they can't get anything and maintain they're doing this 'for his own good.'
Eventually they start giving him details about what happened. They bring up how everyone was MIA. In his bitterness, he says that's just dandy, because everyone in charge is kind of an asshole. After he realizes that mistake and the questions continue, he says they shouldn't have. The war is still going. Humanity still needs to be saved.
He finds he can't really care right now about the war.
He hopes they're okay, that they got out, that they're fine.
He's told about Carolina dying.
He almost let's himself be upset. But he's painting a picture and makes a comment on how she should have been better.
He's not the only one upset in his head, he hears a voice that isn't his own screaming about her death, how he should have been better, how he should have protected her. He ignores it.
He's bitter at his old teammates, he's bitter at his leaders, he still wants to help with the war effort. That's the picture he paints. Instead, he hopes they got out, he hopes they're okay, he doesn't care about the war, he wants his leaders dead.
He wants to get out of there.
He doesn't have tools, he doesn't have access, but he hopes for a while. He finds he's being told about appearances of the other Agents. How they're still being tracked. He keeps up the facade, but he listens. They keep targeting Freelancer facilities.
He hopes they're looking for him.
He's told about a break in for the facility. At first he thinks it's the one he's in, he thinks maybe they were trying to save him. He's asked what he knows about it, but he plays dumb, but he does ask why there wasn't an alarm. The Counselor says it wasn't this one, it was an AI facility.
He realizes what was going on. He realizes the Counselor is looking for him to feel betrayed, abandoned, and he catches it in time. He scoffs and waves a hand. "Then why the hell would I know anything?"
He tries to pretend that he doesn't feel a little abandon, but from there, it gets worse.
Days, weeks, months pass. He'll often zone out for great periods of time, get lost in memories that aren't his own, (which doesn't show as anything more than white static because other shards). Eventually he reaches the first year, which he only knows because he's told and he realizes no one's coming. He's been abandoned and he feels his hope dwindling away. His zoning out gets worse, he gets angrier, more bitter, and subdued.
Some part still hopes the others are okay, because he can understand why they ran, but he's angry he's been left alone. They know it's bad and they left him. He understands, but it hurts. Eventually he focuses more on the anger for the Director, the Counselor, for Freelancer in general. He's in this situation because of THEM. He's stuck like this because they're able to gt away with it. They toy with him, try to manipulate him, but it's so hard to manipulate someone who has a master manipulator in his head. He starts mentioning how he wishes he could at least have a point to his existence instead of just being stuck here in moments of 'weakness' and he hopes it does something.
He's tried to break out plenty. He's looked for weaknesses in the structure, or ways he could modify what he has, but they only people they send in are obvious newbie residents and there's always an armed guard at the door, and he reads the threat. If he acts out, they're not going to hesitate to shoot. Despite everything, he can't bring himself to get some kid hurt.
He also makes plans. What would he do if he got out. He knew what he had to do. He had to free the AI from Freelancers control. Whether or not Epsilon fucked him over, he only did because Freelancer fucked him. And there were broken fragments being made to exist without relief. Give them peace and put Freelancer out of business. He just needed to find some help and the Alpha.
It might be better to just give them peace. He focuses on certain memories, codes, locations, objective data on Freelancer.
More time passes, he keeps up the act, he hardens himself mentally and emotionally, feeling almost dead inside when the Counselor makes a comment at the end of a session after mentioning wanting a point to his existence.
"A job, hm," the counselor murmured as he walked away and for the first time, Wash feels a bit of...excitement? It's not hope, but the counselor didn't say a point, but a JOB and that sounded like he had something in mind. And if he was out....well, then he could put his own plans in motion.
Visual Montage Summary
Wash wakes up in a hospital after the crash of the Mother of Invention. He's been unconscious for a while and besides pleas for someone to 'stop' or 'calm down,' he was largely unresponsive. Wash says he doesn't remember anything about the crash. Just waking up and being told Epsilon was pulled. He's told he's been certified Article 12. Officially insane and unfit for duty.
He doesn't fight, he doesn't protest. The next scene is him in a small, padded cell, pacing and muttering to himself. Mostly facts. He likes dogs. Or was it cats? He's twenty-three. He's Agent Washington. He likes jerky. No, fruit. Time passes, him always in the room, in better states and worse states. Sometimes clawing at the walls, sometimes staring at nothing, sometimes just trying to distract himself with the holopad for reading.
"What is your name?" Asks a man, always wearing the same uniform, but the stutter of the words and the way he changes positions and lighting differs says this is something that was asked more than once. Something that continues with conversations.
"I'm Doctor Leonard Church."
"And how old are you?"
"Forty-two."
"And what do you last remember of the military?"
"They made me explain my project theory for the tenth time. I swear to god, we could have won this war if not for all this damned red tape."
"And when was the last time you spoke with Agent Carolina?"
"Carolina? Wh-"
Then Wash screams, he panics, he shuts down.
"What is your name?"
"Epsilon."
"And how old are you?"
"I'm-why can't I access the date?"
"There are no out bound signals here."
"What? But if I'm talking, shouldn't I be in a device with an internal clock? Wait....wait, don't I have a partner?"
"Yes, you do. Would you like to tell me about them?"
"What? No, I mean, where are they? Where is....Washington? No, no that doesn't-it can't be Wash-"
"Why can't it be Agent Washington?"
"Because he's-he's-"
Frantic breathing, curling up, clutching at his chest as he starts to panic, sometimes screams, he never shuts down after Epsilon, his reactions are always violent.
"What is your name?"
"...."
"What is your name?"
"Am I still in Project Freelancer?"
"Technically, yes."
"Then Agent Washington."
"That's not your real nam-"
"That person is MIA. Until I either die or am discharged formally from the Project, my only name is Agent Washington."
"And how old are you?"
"Depends on the date. I know the last one I remember on the MOI, but I can't remember how long I've been here. Brain damage does that. Last I checked, I was twenty-three"
"Are you experiencing feelings of hostility right now, Agent Washington?"
"I'm not exactly thrilled being stuck in a glass box with no protection if the aliens get this far."
"You're still concerned for the war?"
"You've seen my file. I don't remember a day I haven't been concerned about the war."
"Hm, that is very interesting."
"Yeah, I bet it is."
Sometimes these just end abruptly, other times just with his silence.
There are flashes of him on his side, blood on his fingers, and pooling on the floor from behind him, and people rushing in, talking about his neck.
"I'm Agent Washington, I'm Agent Washington, I'm Agent Washington." Words on repeat in flashes.
He screams about how he's supposed to help people survive locked in a cell and punches at the glass that refuses to break.
One day, he wakes up in power armor. He sees it's the barebones shell. He has a gun with no ammo. When the nurse comes, who looks like some newbie, he asks about it. The nurse says they needed him to calm down. He almost damaged an artery this time. "This time?" "You scratched your neck again." "Oh..."
"I thought we could try something else today." It's the first instance where nothing about the counselor changes.
"Like what?"
"It seems when we focus inward, you'll start to have a panic attack. I looked over your file again and I thought perhaps if you had some external things to focus on, you might do better."
"Oh really? I'm sure my hatred of being psychoanalyzed has nothing to do with that."
"No reason to be hostile, Agent Washington. I thought you'd like to know about your friends."
"..."
"They're mostly MIA."
"Well that's just dandy. Everyone in charge was kind of an asshole anyway."
"You think it's good that they abandoned their post?"
There is a long pause. Then a sigh. "No. Not with the war going on."
"So you think they should have stayed?"
"....yeah. It's for the greater good. For everyone."
He watches as the counselor writes intently.
"Agent Carolina died during the crash."
"...."
"Do you have feelings about that, Agent Washington?"
"She should have been better." Delivered cold and matter of fact.
He's told about break ins. How it's rumored it's former Freelancers. Nothing confirmed yet, but he always perks up at those mentions.
"They broke into the facility. I don't suppose you could tell me about it?"
"They did?" He's surprised. "I didn't hear any alarms."
"Oh, my mistake. I meant they broke into the AI facility."
There's a beat. Then a scoff. "Then why the hell would I know anything about it?" But he sounds just a bit more heated than he has before.
"Oh. Before I left, I wanted to wish you a happy anniversary."
"What?"
"It's been a year since you've been committed, Agent Washington. While I think you could have made more progress, you at least haven't stagnated. Have a good day."
The counselor leaves and for a long time, Wash just stares at the window.
Then he wrecks his bed, tearing apart his mattress and pillow, and just screaming at the ceiling.
"And if you're good, we can get you cak-" A nurse started. Then there's nothing. "-ington. Agent Washington!"
"What?" He jerks up.
"I think you zoned out again. I've been talking for three minutes."
"Oh. Sorry, just....tired."
The nurse looks at him with concern. "Maybe I could see about getting you a tv or something? I don't think you do well with silence."
Wash chuckles. "Well, it would be nice."
"Hm. All right, I'll see what I can do!"
Wash watches the nurse go. Then after a minute, he sighs. "And that would be the fifty-sixth new nurse tomorrow."
More conversations with the counselor. More of the same questions. Though later and later on, he only says Agent Washington as his name. The counselor also does a lot of gaslighting. Talking about how the other Freelancers abandoned their posts. How Wash would be so useful if he was just better. How slow his progress is. Is he sure he doesn't remember anything more with Epsilon? No, he doesn't.
One year, two year, getting close to three when the counselor asks.
"It doesn't seem like your disassociation episodes are lessening, Agent Washington."
"Yeah, well, that's not exactly much to do."
"You can become completely unresponsive."
He sighs. "What do you want me to say? There's nothing here. There's no point to my existence. Want me to change, then let me just....do something!"
The counselor seems to consider this. "A job, hm?"
Wash perks up at that.
"Let me think see what I can come up with."
Wash watches him go. Then he fistbumps. "About time."
And after probably about an hour of montage content, the memory ends.
Indepth Summary
This takes place after the MOI Crash and before Recovery One. This time lasts roughly three years.
Wash wakes up in in a hospital. He's hurting and he's told about the Mother of Invention crash. He's told nothing else about it at first, but instead it's brought up he's been more or less in a coma, though there was a lot of near conscious states with begging for someone to 'stop' and 'calm down.'
He knows he was dreaming of Epsilon, reliving what happened. He knows he was injured in the crash. He says he doesn't remember anything. He's then informed he's been certified Article 12. Unfit for duty.
Insane.
He'll be put in isolation, in a psyche ward that Project Freelancer controls. And he knows. He knows they suspect what's happened, but they have no proof, and they can't just kill him. Either because they can't quite make him disappear, or because they don't know if they're done with him. Either way, he knows he's in for hell.
He doesn't remember the first few weeks well at all. Locked in a room with only his thoughts doesn't go well. He has enough control to not give himself away, but the details are fuzzy. All he remembers is the feeling of his mind being torn apart, that he's in danger, he's going to die he's going to die he's going to die-
Then one day he wakes up in power armor. He looks it over, realizes it's bare bones, it's not enough to break out. He also has a gun, with no ammo. He realizes it's to get him to calm down. He must have said something, though he doesn't remember what. He's given enough to feel safe enough to maintain his sanity.
Well, he's not going to complain about it.
But the questions come. Usually through a reinforced glass wall. He's asked about Epsilon a lot. He says he doesn't remember any details. Just that Epsilon was unraveling, that he couldn't tell who was who at the time, then he died. The questions get more insistent, more persistent.
He starts faking panic attacks. It takes a few times to figure out how to do it right without fucking himself up, but he used to have anxiety attacks, and he knows what he needs to do to achieve them. As soon as the questions get too problematic, start digging at memories and making him lose himself, he starts the attack and they back off. Over time, as they try to manipulate him, break him, he'll use it often. As well as just zoning out. Shutting things down. Anything and everything to get them to realize they can't get anything and maintain they're doing this 'for his own good.'
Eventually they start giving him details about what happened. They bring up how everyone was MIA. In his bitterness, he says that's just dandy, because everyone in charge is kind of an asshole. After he realizes that mistake and the questions continue, he says they shouldn't have. The war is still going. Humanity still needs to be saved.
He finds he can't really care right now about the war.
He hopes they're okay, that they got out, that they're fine.
He's told about Carolina dying.
He almost let's himself be upset. But he's painting a picture and makes a comment on how she should have been better.
He's not the only one upset in his head, he hears a voice that isn't his own screaming about her death, how he should have been better, how he should have protected her. He ignores it.
He's bitter at his old teammates, he's bitter at his leaders, he still wants to help with the war effort. That's the picture he paints. Instead, he hopes they got out, he hopes they're okay, he doesn't care about the war, he wants his leaders dead.
He wants to get out of there.
He doesn't have tools, he doesn't have access, but he hopes for a while. He finds he's being told about appearances of the other Agents. How they're still being tracked. He keeps up the facade, but he listens. They keep targeting Freelancer facilities.
He hopes they're looking for him.
He's told about a break in for the facility. At first he thinks it's the one he's in, he thinks maybe they were trying to save him. He's asked what he knows about it, but he plays dumb, but he does ask why there wasn't an alarm. The Counselor says it wasn't this one, it was an AI facility.
He realizes what was going on. He realizes the Counselor is looking for him to feel betrayed, abandoned, and he catches it in time. He scoffs and waves a hand. "Then why the hell would I know anything?"
He tries to pretend that he doesn't feel a little abandon, but from there, it gets worse.
Days, weeks, months pass. He'll often zone out for great periods of time, get lost in memories that aren't his own, (which doesn't show as anything more than white static because other shards). Eventually he reaches the first year, which he only knows because he's told and he realizes no one's coming. He's been abandoned and he feels his hope dwindling away. His zoning out gets worse, he gets angrier, more bitter, and subdued.
Some part still hopes the others are okay, because he can understand why they ran, but he's angry he's been left alone. They know it's bad and they left him. He understands, but it hurts. Eventually he focuses more on the anger for the Director, the Counselor, for Freelancer in general. He's in this situation because of THEM. He's stuck like this because they're able to gt away with it. They toy with him, try to manipulate him, but it's so hard to manipulate someone who has a master manipulator in his head. He starts mentioning how he wishes he could at least have a point to his existence instead of just being stuck here in moments of 'weakness' and he hopes it does something.
He's tried to break out plenty. He's looked for weaknesses in the structure, or ways he could modify what he has, but they only people they send in are obvious newbie residents and there's always an armed guard at the door, and he reads the threat. If he acts out, they're not going to hesitate to shoot. Despite everything, he can't bring himself to get some kid hurt.
He also makes plans. What would he do if he got out. He knew what he had to do. He had to free the AI from Freelancers control. Whether or not Epsilon fucked him over, he only did because Freelancer fucked him. And there were broken fragments being made to exist without relief. Give them peace and put Freelancer out of business. He just needed to find some help and the Alpha.
It might be better to just give them peace. He focuses on certain memories, codes, locations, objective data on Freelancer.
More time passes, he keeps up the act, he hardens himself mentally and emotionally, feeling almost dead inside when the Counselor makes a comment at the end of a session after mentioning wanting a point to his existence.
"A job, hm," the counselor murmured as he walked away and for the first time, Wash feels a bit of...excitement? It's not hope, but the counselor didn't say a point, but a JOB and that sounded like he had something in mind. And if he was out....well, then he could put his own plans in motion.