Agent Washington (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
schrodingerscockroach) wrote2020-04-28 10:27 pm
schrodingerscockroach) wrote2020-04-28 10:27 pm
Memory 36
Neutral Trivial: The Detective of the West (AU)
Short Summary:
Wash is sitting in a cat cafe, drinking coffee. The waitress speaks slow Japanese for Wash's benefit because he's a slow speaker in the language. He explains he's waiting for his little sister and yes, he will take the super sweet pun named coffee. Waitress gets coffee, but sudden bolting cats make her trip and spill coffee on him. He takes it like the pain sponge he is and goes to the bathroom to get cold water on the mild burns and clean his shirt. The air dryer is on for most of his time in there and he texts his sister whose running late. Little sister may or may not have a friend who is an assassin waiting to happen. Little sister knows Kaito. There is teasing and they're to meet up to go to a musical.
Once Wash's shirt is dry and the dryer is quiet, he can hear a commotion out of the bathroom. As he leaves, he discovers there's been a murder! As determined by a teenage detective on the scene after a body fell off the roof of this building with multiple businesses, different each story. A teenager girl, later identified as Kazuha, is keeping people in the area for the police, and the teenage detective will later be identified as Hattori Heiji. (Who looks A LOT like Kaito for those who have seen him in other memories, except darker skin and a bit more angular face.)
Wash cooperates, but because the roof has a fence, he's suspect number one as being able to throw a body over it. Wash retreats to the bathroom and calls Kaito and asks him out to ditch the cops without ending up on a wanted list. Kaito laughs at his misfortune of being involved in a murder, if with a tinge of 'god, WHY' because murder sucks. Then Kaito vouches for Hattori's skills and advises messaging 'Kudo' to vouch for him. Apparently that means Hattori's good??? Kaito also asks Wash to scare the murderer if he can because murder sucks. Also apparently murders, teen detectives, and Kaito clones are just A Thing. Wash messages someone labeled 'detective' after who insists curses aren't real here.
Hattori gets a call and apparently that is enough to vouch for Wash, otherwise known as 'Puma.' Hattori hadn't actually suspected him. Also he keeps saying Kudo and he shouldn't For Some Reason. Hattori explains a bit what he knows and asks Wash what he remembers. And Wash kind of....does this lowkey disassociate thing and is extremely detailed in his recall. Kazuha uses Washington to snap him out of the seeming trance he did. She's concerned, but Hattori rushed off to solve the case.
While the teens investigate, he walks into an accusation. Watiress apparently saw the scars and assumption had been made. Wash is Unimpressed With The Accusation and insists on not going to the station because his sister is coming, buying time until Hattori comes in and breaks down how the crime was committed and how the victim, involved with weapons manufacturing, was probably doing dirty dealing with a finance consultant guy.
Wash vaguely implies he might actually be a hitman and people might want the victim dead to scare him into admitting what he did without a fight. Wash assures Hattori he is not a hitman and thanks him.
Then another commotion as someone shouts Puma-nii. Wash goes over and there's Aoko/Faito. He tells her he was in a murder investigation. Aoko puts her head in her hands and laughs.
Longer Summary:
"Can I get you anything else, sir? The check?" The waitress asked in Japanese, though slow, smiling brightly.
Wash looked up from the cat he'd been scratching under the chin. "Ah, another cup. I still wait for someone," he said, speaking heavily accented Japanese.
"Normal coffee or the strawpurry blitz cappuccino?" She asked.
"Strawpurry," he said. Still, the waitress hesitated. He raised an eyebrow and gestured for her to say something.
"Ummm. Who are you waiting for?" She asked. "A date?"
Wash grimaced at the implication. "Little sister."
"Oh! I see, yes, siblings can be pretty late," she said, the smile looking far more relaxed. "I'll get your drink now."
"Thank you," Wash said, waving as she walked away. He sighed and looked at the trio of cats that have taken to hanging around his booth. "Almost like they don't expect giant foreigners to come to cat cafes," he said dryly in english. One of the cats meows in return. "I know. I can have taste too."
He watched the cats in the cafe for the few minutes he waited for his drinks, seemingly content. The waitress approaches again with something with so much whipped cream and sprinkles when suddenly two cats come bolting out from somewhere and trip her up.
Wash reacts instantly, moving out of the table to catch her before she hits the ground....and takes the drink all over the front of his shirt. He breathes in sharply, going very still.
"....sir...? Sir, are you okay?" The waitress asked.
Wash pushes her back straight on her feet. "Cloth towel. From kitchen. Going to bathroom," he said.
"Yes sir!" She said, quickly rushing off as Wash turned to go to the bathroom, starting the cold water, and letting out a few curses as he pulled off his shirt. Within moments, there was a knock and he opened the door to see the waitress with cloth handtowels. She squeaks as she sees him without a shirt.
"Thank you," he said as he took them and closed and locked the door behind him. The next few minutes he soaks the cloth in cold water and applies it to the skin that the coffee reached. He looks it over as the pain fades. The skin was red, but nothing serious.
Then there was his shirt. He spends the next few minutes trying to clean the coffee out with little success. At least it was gray so the stain wouldn't be so bad. He sighed, rubbing at his face and running the air dryer to try and dry his shirt.
He pulls out his phone as he waits, checking his messages with 'Imouto.' There is a thread of an apology about missing her train because 'Akako-chan' needed something.
How long will you be? The wait staff are going to start making rumors about me.
'Just another hour! And there's nothing wrong with you being at a cat cafe.'
I'm a brickhouse foreigner sitting in a cat cafe for two hours and now a waitress just spilled coffee on me and I just stoically walked away.
'Puma-nii being a cool action hero.'
It's called strawpurry blitz.
'An action hero with a sweet tooth.'
Wash chuckled to himself, rolling his eyes, checking his shirt.
Who knows, maybe this was Akako-chan's assassination attempt.
'I still don't see why you think she's some kind of dangerous person.'
One, Kaito does.
'Kaito thinks cats are dangerous.'
And two, she just has that aura about her. That is someone who has at least seriously considered murdering someone and got to the premeditation stage at minimum.
'I think Puma-nii is just intimidated by cool girls.'
Doesn't make me wrong about the cool girls.
'*An assortment of sticking out tongue emoji faces.*'
I guess I'll live through the rumors for an hour. Just don't take too much longer. I can wait, musicals can't.
'I'll be there. Say hi to the cats for me!'
Will do.
He puts away his phone and feels his shirt, finally letting the air dryer turn off now that it's dry enough. He pulls it on and he notices there's.....quite a lot of noise outside. More than there had been. He frowned, grabbing the towels as he left the bathroom. That was shouting and that was....oh, that was fear.
He hurried from the back of the building to see people are gathered at the windows.
Its hard to catch what exactly people are saying. They're panicked and rushed, but he manages to catch some words. Jump. Blood. Blood???
He moves forward quickly, nudging people away to look outside and he can see a body on a damaged car.
Well...shit.
He debates just slipping away, but then there's suddenly a teenage girl yelling for everyone to sit down. There's been a murder and everyone in the building had to stay for questioning.
"How do you know it murder?" Wash asked.
The girl looked at him and switched to heavily accented English. "He's still wearing his shoes and glasses. It's unlikely suicide," she explained.
"Heiji?"
"Hattori Heiji. He's a detective, one of the best you'll meet," the girl bragged and pointed over to a young man by the body.
A very familiar looking young man, but also very NOT familiar all at the same time. Wash just stared for a good long several moments.
"Sir? Are you all right?" The girl asked.
"Just....this entire thing is ridiculous," Wash said with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'll give my statement as soon as the police are here, I have tickets to a musical I don't want to miss," he said with a wave of his hand and moving to take a seat in the cafe.
It's not long until the police arrive, starting to talk to people. He gives his statement, explaining why he was there and that he was taking care of a coffee stain in the bathroom at the time. He didn't think there would be anymore to it.
Then it came out the victim was involved in weapons manufacturing. And that the building, seven stories of various small businesses from a psychic to a salon to finance consultant, had a fence around the roof. Which meant if this wasn't a suicide, the victim had to be thrown over the fence.
And he was suddenly looking a lot more suspicious.
And sadly bathroom wasn't a good alibi.
The first free moment Wash had, he went to the bathroom again and made a call.
"Hey Puma," Kaito answered in English.
"How do I ditch the cops without getting put on the wanted list?" Wash asked.
"....Puma, are you encouraging me to consider breaking the law?" Kaito asked in an amused voice.
"Kaito, we both know I have broken the law before, that is not the debate between us."
"Then why do you need my help."
"Because I could usually just leave the planet. And I usually was committing a crime and knew I would need to run," Wash said.
"....are you being accused of a crime?"
"I'm being accused of a murder because a body just fell from the sky!"
There is a looooong pause.
And then laughter. A mix of amusement, but also a bit of manic disbelief.
"Kaito, I swear to god-"
"You've been here less than two hours-" There's more laughter.
"I also know where you live and can competently hide a murder."
More laughter. "I can't believe you've already been pulled into a murder investigation-"
"Stop acting like that's a normal thing! I already have the weird of finding yet another one of your clones!" Wash said, throwing a hand up in the air.
"Kudo's there? Who isn't a clone, by the way. We look nothing alike."
"Your denial doesn't do you any favors and no. Another one. A Hattori Heiji who is yet another teenage detective. How many teen detectives are there? Where are their parents? A murder is not the place for developing minds."
"You're sounding like an old man again."
"You two had no choice. There is so much choice in this situation."
"You try telling those detectives to do anything," Kaito said. "My advice is work with detective-han. He's good at his work and will find who actually did it."
"Yes, nothing suspicious about me working a lot with the detective after I've been accused," Wash said dryly.
"...fair. Try messaging Kudo. If he vouches for you, detective-han will work with you. I guarantee it," Kaito said.
"Why would-ah, he's that good?"
"Yeah. A hotblooded guy, but he's good. Trust me, you'll be fine."
"Well if you of all people are confident in his ability..." He sighed. "Thanks for the advice. I'll let you know how it goes."
"Scare the murderer if you get a chance!"
"I probably will." With that, Wash hangs up and opens another message app that's fairly empty labeled 'detective.'
Hey, it's Puma. Currently a suspect in a murder investigation. I was told this Hattori guy would believe it if you vouched for me. I'm pretty sure this proves your world is cursed.
There is a long pause before a response comes through.
'Curses aren't real here. I'll call him.'
Wash sighed, hanging up his phone and heading out of the bathroom, hanging back as he sees Heiji look at his phone, heading over with an oddly gleeful look on his face.
"Kudo! How are ya?" Hattori greets in Japanese.
"Jesus Christ," Wash said aloud before he could stop himself, Hattori looking at him in confusion. Wash just gently facepalms.
Hattori just gives him an odd look, head tilted to his phone. "Ah, yeah, I'm on a case right now. How'd ya know?" He waves a hand at Wash as if to shoo him away, raising an eyebrow as Wash shakes his head in response. "Eh? A foreign guy...?"
Wash waves his hand. Hattori looks him over critically, listening. "Yeah, I think I see the guy. Ya sure? .....okay."
Hattori hangs up, looking at Puma. "Name?" He asked, switching to lightly accented english.
"Puma, it's a work name. Wash works here," he said.
Hattori nodded. "Well, if Kud-" He stops as a hand goes over his mouth.
"Seriously?" Wash asked, raising an eyebrow.
Hattori pushed his hand away. "It's fine," he said with a shrug. "If he vouches for you, then you've earned his trust. Not like I thought it was you. That won't get you away from the police though."
Wash sighed. "I figured. How can I help?" He paused. "Strange markings?"
Hattori nodded, moving over to the girl that had kept people from leaving before. "Telling me if you remember anything strange will help. Kazuha?" And switches to Japanese. "I need to borrow ya for a minute. This guy is specialist Kudo knows."
Kazuha seems to accept Hattori's Kudo explanation and begins explaining about odd minor abrasions low on the torso. It's not hard to figure out why Hattori doesn't think it was him.
"Rope burns?"
Hattori nodded. "Its a strong possibility, but where it went..." He shook his head. "What can ya remember? Anything odd?"
Wash sighed, rubbing at his face. "This place doesn't have cameras?"
"Only on the front door."
"Perfect." He sighed. "You want everything I can remember?"
"Yes."
"All right if we go to the kitchen?"
The two teens look at each other and nod. Wash heads to the back and takes a seat. "Use Washington to get my attention. I have focus issues sometimes," he said.
"Okay....?" Hattori said in confusion.
And then Wash starts talking. Describing everything he remembers happening, from where people were sitting, who were moving, snippets of conversation, and waitresses, and the cats. All in a monotone, seemingly unaware of the two teenagers looking at each other with confusion and slight concern.
At least until Wash talks about the waitress getting tripped, perking up suddenly. He says something, but it's hard to hear.
"Washington-han!" Kazuha said loudly.
Wash jerked up. "Hm?"
"Are you okay?" Kazuha asked in english.
"Oh....oh, yeah, no, I'm fine," he said, shaking his head. "Did that help at all?"
"You said two cats ran in suddenly and tripped the waitress?" Hattori asked.
"Yeah," Wash said. "They came from the staircase. Probably got back their when someone went to the bathroom."
"I think that might be just what I needed," Hattori said, turning and rushing off.
"Ah, Heiji-! Jeeze...." Kazuha sighed and shook her head. She looked at Wash again. "Are you sure you're okay, Washington-han?"
"Yes," Wash said, rubbing the back of his neck and over the bandages he uses to hide the ports there. "I'm really good at taking in details, but I've had a bit of head trauma in the past. Makes it easy to zone out is all, especially if I get too focused on something. Just disorientating a bit."
Kazuha looked at him, doubtful, but eventually nodding her head. "Just take it easy. I'm going to find Heiji."
Wash nodded, waving her off. After a minute, he heads back out to wait and see what Hattori figured out.
Only to have one of the people from the businesses above start yelling at him. It's hard to get everything with the volume and speed, but it quickly becomes apparent that he's accusing Wash as obviously the guilty party. Some kind of hitman, everyone heard the waitress about his scars.
Wash just gives him a dead eye stare and it unnerves the man whose accusations start to quiet. And then he decides that clearly he's 'psycho' so it's 'definitely him' and Wash continues to be unimpressed.
Of course, when there's talk of him going to the station, he does protest. He's waiting for his sister, he can't leave before she gets there and they say to call and he says she'll worry and he's basically trying to buy time.
Right until Hattori comes in with open and partially covered in kitty litter and he has his deduction show.
It ends up being a very complicated way to kill someone, obviously planned to look like a suicide, but they missed the usual habits. There was a whole thing with a rope wrapped around the guy with a trash bag full of litter slowly leaking into a dumpster and once it's level was low enough, a weight out be dislodged, letting the rope unwind, body to fall, and the last of the little and rope all to fall into the dumpster behind the building. The sound had startled the cats.
There would be DNA evidence of the victim on the rope. As for the perpetrator? The victim had a business card for a certain business. Finance consultation. AKA mister asshole.
Hattori says he's pretty sure there's going to be some very interesting books in there.
The man starts to protest about how that stuff is confidential and Wash...
Well, Wash does scary. "Were you really trying to pin your crime on me?" He asked, voice cold and dangerous and as he suspected, the man understand english just fine.
Even then, he's getting side eyed at the change in tone.
"I....uh..." The man started.
"What was it you called me? Obviously a hitman?" Wash asked, calm and cold. "I wonder why you think you can recognize someone in that profession. Have you met one? I mean, if there's any truth in what the kid says, I imagine a hitman would be very interested in you."
Then he smiled, razor sharp and dangerous. "But what are the chances of that?"
The man goes very pale at that and Hattori is side eyeing Wash super hard.
The man finally falls to his knees and says he had to do it, he had to, the victim was going to have them cut off some yakuza and he couldn't do that-
Wash is less than impressed and watches the guy get dragged away and Hattori sidles up to Wash.
"...you're not a hitman, are you?" He asked.
Wash snorted. "Of course not. I was in the military, but I never killed for money," Wash said. It is technically true. Money was never a motive. "But I know enough that anyone whose involved with weapons manufacturing and crime, likely they're working with someone who would kill them."
"You know we could have gotten a warrant," Hattori said.
"Yeah, but that guy pissed me off," Wash said.
Hattori chuckled at that. "I guess that's fair."
"Thanks for trusting me," Wash said.
Hattori shrugged. "Like I said, if Kudo trusts you, then there's good reason."
"You really need to stop saying his name," Wash said with a sigh.
"It's fine. Plenty of Kudos."
"If you say so."
And there's a disturbance at the door as someone tries to get inside. "Puma-nii!"
"Right on time. Thanks for clearing my name," Wash said, offering a wave to Hattori, who waves back as Wash walks away. He gently pushes past the cops to see a very distressed looking Aoko.
"Puma-nii! Are you okay? What happened?" She asked.
"It's fine. Just got caught in a murder investigation," Puma said.
Aoko stared at that a few beats. Then, her head goes into her hands and she laughs.
Short Summary:
Wash is sitting in a cat cafe, drinking coffee. The waitress speaks slow Japanese for Wash's benefit because he's a slow speaker in the language. He explains he's waiting for his little sister and yes, he will take the super sweet pun named coffee. Waitress gets coffee, but sudden bolting cats make her trip and spill coffee on him. He takes it like the pain sponge he is and goes to the bathroom to get cold water on the mild burns and clean his shirt. The air dryer is on for most of his time in there and he texts his sister whose running late. Little sister may or may not have a friend who is an assassin waiting to happen. Little sister knows Kaito. There is teasing and they're to meet up to go to a musical.
Once Wash's shirt is dry and the dryer is quiet, he can hear a commotion out of the bathroom. As he leaves, he discovers there's been a murder! As determined by a teenage detective on the scene after a body fell off the roof of this building with multiple businesses, different each story. A teenager girl, later identified as Kazuha, is keeping people in the area for the police, and the teenage detective will later be identified as Hattori Heiji. (Who looks A LOT like Kaito for those who have seen him in other memories, except darker skin and a bit more angular face.)
Wash cooperates, but because the roof has a fence, he's suspect number one as being able to throw a body over it. Wash retreats to the bathroom and calls Kaito and asks him out to ditch the cops without ending up on a wanted list. Kaito laughs at his misfortune of being involved in a murder, if with a tinge of 'god, WHY' because murder sucks. Then Kaito vouches for Hattori's skills and advises messaging 'Kudo' to vouch for him. Apparently that means Hattori's good??? Kaito also asks Wash to scare the murderer if he can because murder sucks. Also apparently murders, teen detectives, and Kaito clones are just A Thing. Wash messages someone labeled 'detective' after who insists curses aren't real here.
Hattori gets a call and apparently that is enough to vouch for Wash, otherwise known as 'Puma.' Hattori hadn't actually suspected him. Also he keeps saying Kudo and he shouldn't For Some Reason. Hattori explains a bit what he knows and asks Wash what he remembers. And Wash kind of....does this lowkey disassociate thing and is extremely detailed in his recall. Kazuha uses Washington to snap him out of the seeming trance he did. She's concerned, but Hattori rushed off to solve the case.
While the teens investigate, he walks into an accusation. Watiress apparently saw the scars and assumption had been made. Wash is Unimpressed With The Accusation and insists on not going to the station because his sister is coming, buying time until Hattori comes in and breaks down how the crime was committed and how the victim, involved with weapons manufacturing, was probably doing dirty dealing with a finance consultant guy.
Wash vaguely implies he might actually be a hitman and people might want the victim dead to scare him into admitting what he did without a fight. Wash assures Hattori he is not a hitman and thanks him.
Then another commotion as someone shouts Puma-nii. Wash goes over and there's Aoko/Faito. He tells her he was in a murder investigation. Aoko puts her head in her hands and laughs.
Longer Summary:
"Can I get you anything else, sir? The check?" The waitress asked in Japanese, though slow, smiling brightly.
Wash looked up from the cat he'd been scratching under the chin. "Ah, another cup. I still wait for someone," he said, speaking heavily accented Japanese.
"Normal coffee or the strawpurry blitz cappuccino?" She asked.
"Strawpurry," he said. Still, the waitress hesitated. He raised an eyebrow and gestured for her to say something.
"Ummm. Who are you waiting for?" She asked. "A date?"
Wash grimaced at the implication. "Little sister."
"Oh! I see, yes, siblings can be pretty late," she said, the smile looking far more relaxed. "I'll get your drink now."
"Thank you," Wash said, waving as she walked away. He sighed and looked at the trio of cats that have taken to hanging around his booth. "Almost like they don't expect giant foreigners to come to cat cafes," he said dryly in english. One of the cats meows in return. "I know. I can have taste too."
He watched the cats in the cafe for the few minutes he waited for his drinks, seemingly content. The waitress approaches again with something with so much whipped cream and sprinkles when suddenly two cats come bolting out from somewhere and trip her up.
Wash reacts instantly, moving out of the table to catch her before she hits the ground....and takes the drink all over the front of his shirt. He breathes in sharply, going very still.
"....sir...? Sir, are you okay?" The waitress asked.
Wash pushes her back straight on her feet. "Cloth towel. From kitchen. Going to bathroom," he said.
"Yes sir!" She said, quickly rushing off as Wash turned to go to the bathroom, starting the cold water, and letting out a few curses as he pulled off his shirt. Within moments, there was a knock and he opened the door to see the waitress with cloth handtowels. She squeaks as she sees him without a shirt.
"Thank you," he said as he took them and closed and locked the door behind him. The next few minutes he soaks the cloth in cold water and applies it to the skin that the coffee reached. He looks it over as the pain fades. The skin was red, but nothing serious.
Then there was his shirt. He spends the next few minutes trying to clean the coffee out with little success. At least it was gray so the stain wouldn't be so bad. He sighed, rubbing at his face and running the air dryer to try and dry his shirt.
He pulls out his phone as he waits, checking his messages with 'Imouto.' There is a thread of an apology about missing her train because 'Akako-chan' needed something.
How long will you be? The wait staff are going to start making rumors about me.
'Just another hour! And there's nothing wrong with you being at a cat cafe.'
I'm a brickhouse foreigner sitting in a cat cafe for two hours and now a waitress just spilled coffee on me and I just stoically walked away.
'Puma-nii being a cool action hero.'
It's called strawpurry blitz.
'An action hero with a sweet tooth.'
Wash chuckled to himself, rolling his eyes, checking his shirt.
Who knows, maybe this was Akako-chan's assassination attempt.
'I still don't see why you think she's some kind of dangerous person.'
One, Kaito does.
'Kaito thinks cats are dangerous.'
And two, she just has that aura about her. That is someone who has at least seriously considered murdering someone and got to the premeditation stage at minimum.
'I think Puma-nii is just intimidated by cool girls.'
Doesn't make me wrong about the cool girls.
'*An assortment of sticking out tongue emoji faces.*'
I guess I'll live through the rumors for an hour. Just don't take too much longer. I can wait, musicals can't.
'I'll be there. Say hi to the cats for me!'
Will do.
He puts away his phone and feels his shirt, finally letting the air dryer turn off now that it's dry enough. He pulls it on and he notices there's.....quite a lot of noise outside. More than there had been. He frowned, grabbing the towels as he left the bathroom. That was shouting and that was....oh, that was fear.
He hurried from the back of the building to see people are gathered at the windows.
Its hard to catch what exactly people are saying. They're panicked and rushed, but he manages to catch some words. Jump. Blood. Blood???
He moves forward quickly, nudging people away to look outside and he can see a body on a damaged car.
Well...shit.
He debates just slipping away, but then there's suddenly a teenage girl yelling for everyone to sit down. There's been a murder and everyone in the building had to stay for questioning.
"How do you know it murder?" Wash asked.
The girl looked at him and switched to heavily accented English. "He's still wearing his shoes and glasses. It's unlikely suicide," she explained.
"Heiji?"
"Hattori Heiji. He's a detective, one of the best you'll meet," the girl bragged and pointed over to a young man by the body.
A very familiar looking young man, but also very NOT familiar all at the same time. Wash just stared for a good long several moments.
"Sir? Are you all right?" The girl asked.
"Just....this entire thing is ridiculous," Wash said with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'll give my statement as soon as the police are here, I have tickets to a musical I don't want to miss," he said with a wave of his hand and moving to take a seat in the cafe.
It's not long until the police arrive, starting to talk to people. He gives his statement, explaining why he was there and that he was taking care of a coffee stain in the bathroom at the time. He didn't think there would be anymore to it.
Then it came out the victim was involved in weapons manufacturing. And that the building, seven stories of various small businesses from a psychic to a salon to finance consultant, had a fence around the roof. Which meant if this wasn't a suicide, the victim had to be thrown over the fence.
And he was suddenly looking a lot more suspicious.
And sadly bathroom wasn't a good alibi.
The first free moment Wash had, he went to the bathroom again and made a call.
"Hey Puma," Kaito answered in English.
"How do I ditch the cops without getting put on the wanted list?" Wash asked.
"....Puma, are you encouraging me to consider breaking the law?" Kaito asked in an amused voice.
"Kaito, we both know I have broken the law before, that is not the debate between us."
"Then why do you need my help."
"Because I could usually just leave the planet. And I usually was committing a crime and knew I would need to run," Wash said.
"....are you being accused of a crime?"
"I'm being accused of a murder because a body just fell from the sky!"
There is a looooong pause.
And then laughter. A mix of amusement, but also a bit of manic disbelief.
"Kaito, I swear to god-"
"You've been here less than two hours-" There's more laughter.
"I also know where you live and can competently hide a murder."
More laughter. "I can't believe you've already been pulled into a murder investigation-"
"Stop acting like that's a normal thing! I already have the weird of finding yet another one of your clones!" Wash said, throwing a hand up in the air.
"Kudo's there? Who isn't a clone, by the way. We look nothing alike."
"Your denial doesn't do you any favors and no. Another one. A Hattori Heiji who is yet another teenage detective. How many teen detectives are there? Where are their parents? A murder is not the place for developing minds."
"You're sounding like an old man again."
"You two had no choice. There is so much choice in this situation."
"You try telling those detectives to do anything," Kaito said. "My advice is work with detective-han. He's good at his work and will find who actually did it."
"Yes, nothing suspicious about me working a lot with the detective after I've been accused," Wash said dryly.
"...fair. Try messaging Kudo. If he vouches for you, detective-han will work with you. I guarantee it," Kaito said.
"Why would-ah, he's that good?"
"Yeah. A hotblooded guy, but he's good. Trust me, you'll be fine."
"Well if you of all people are confident in his ability..." He sighed. "Thanks for the advice. I'll let you know how it goes."
"Scare the murderer if you get a chance!"
"I probably will." With that, Wash hangs up and opens another message app that's fairly empty labeled 'detective.'
Hey, it's Puma. Currently a suspect in a murder investigation. I was told this Hattori guy would believe it if you vouched for me. I'm pretty sure this proves your world is cursed.
There is a long pause before a response comes through.
'Curses aren't real here. I'll call him.'
Wash sighed, hanging up his phone and heading out of the bathroom, hanging back as he sees Heiji look at his phone, heading over with an oddly gleeful look on his face.
"Kudo! How are ya?" Hattori greets in Japanese.
"Jesus Christ," Wash said aloud before he could stop himself, Hattori looking at him in confusion. Wash just gently facepalms.
Hattori just gives him an odd look, head tilted to his phone. "Ah, yeah, I'm on a case right now. How'd ya know?" He waves a hand at Wash as if to shoo him away, raising an eyebrow as Wash shakes his head in response. "Eh? A foreign guy...?"
Wash waves his hand. Hattori looks him over critically, listening. "Yeah, I think I see the guy. Ya sure? .....okay."
Hattori hangs up, looking at Puma. "Name?" He asked, switching to lightly accented english.
"Puma, it's a work name. Wash works here," he said.
Hattori nodded. "Well, if Kud-" He stops as a hand goes over his mouth.
"Seriously?" Wash asked, raising an eyebrow.
Hattori pushed his hand away. "It's fine," he said with a shrug. "If he vouches for you, then you've earned his trust. Not like I thought it was you. That won't get you away from the police though."
Wash sighed. "I figured. How can I help?" He paused. "Strange markings?"
Hattori nodded, moving over to the girl that had kept people from leaving before. "Telling me if you remember anything strange will help. Kazuha?" And switches to Japanese. "I need to borrow ya for a minute. This guy is specialist Kudo knows."
Kazuha seems to accept Hattori's Kudo explanation and begins explaining about odd minor abrasions low on the torso. It's not hard to figure out why Hattori doesn't think it was him.
"Rope burns?"
Hattori nodded. "Its a strong possibility, but where it went..." He shook his head. "What can ya remember? Anything odd?"
Wash sighed, rubbing at his face. "This place doesn't have cameras?"
"Only on the front door."
"Perfect." He sighed. "You want everything I can remember?"
"Yes."
"All right if we go to the kitchen?"
The two teens look at each other and nod. Wash heads to the back and takes a seat. "Use Washington to get my attention. I have focus issues sometimes," he said.
"Okay....?" Hattori said in confusion.
And then Wash starts talking. Describing everything he remembers happening, from where people were sitting, who were moving, snippets of conversation, and waitresses, and the cats. All in a monotone, seemingly unaware of the two teenagers looking at each other with confusion and slight concern.
At least until Wash talks about the waitress getting tripped, perking up suddenly. He says something, but it's hard to hear.
"Washington-han!" Kazuha said loudly.
Wash jerked up. "Hm?"
"Are you okay?" Kazuha asked in english.
"Oh....oh, yeah, no, I'm fine," he said, shaking his head. "Did that help at all?"
"You said two cats ran in suddenly and tripped the waitress?" Hattori asked.
"Yeah," Wash said. "They came from the staircase. Probably got back their when someone went to the bathroom."
"I think that might be just what I needed," Hattori said, turning and rushing off.
"Ah, Heiji-! Jeeze...." Kazuha sighed and shook her head. She looked at Wash again. "Are you sure you're okay, Washington-han?"
"Yes," Wash said, rubbing the back of his neck and over the bandages he uses to hide the ports there. "I'm really good at taking in details, but I've had a bit of head trauma in the past. Makes it easy to zone out is all, especially if I get too focused on something. Just disorientating a bit."
Kazuha looked at him, doubtful, but eventually nodding her head. "Just take it easy. I'm going to find Heiji."
Wash nodded, waving her off. After a minute, he heads back out to wait and see what Hattori figured out.
Only to have one of the people from the businesses above start yelling at him. It's hard to get everything with the volume and speed, but it quickly becomes apparent that he's accusing Wash as obviously the guilty party. Some kind of hitman, everyone heard the waitress about his scars.
Wash just gives him a dead eye stare and it unnerves the man whose accusations start to quiet. And then he decides that clearly he's 'psycho' so it's 'definitely him' and Wash continues to be unimpressed.
Of course, when there's talk of him going to the station, he does protest. He's waiting for his sister, he can't leave before she gets there and they say to call and he says she'll worry and he's basically trying to buy time.
Right until Hattori comes in with open and partially covered in kitty litter and he has his deduction show.
It ends up being a very complicated way to kill someone, obviously planned to look like a suicide, but they missed the usual habits. There was a whole thing with a rope wrapped around the guy with a trash bag full of litter slowly leaking into a dumpster and once it's level was low enough, a weight out be dislodged, letting the rope unwind, body to fall, and the last of the little and rope all to fall into the dumpster behind the building. The sound had startled the cats.
There would be DNA evidence of the victim on the rope. As for the perpetrator? The victim had a business card for a certain business. Finance consultation. AKA mister asshole.
Hattori says he's pretty sure there's going to be some very interesting books in there.
The man starts to protest about how that stuff is confidential and Wash...
Well, Wash does scary. "Were you really trying to pin your crime on me?" He asked, voice cold and dangerous and as he suspected, the man understand english just fine.
Even then, he's getting side eyed at the change in tone.
"I....uh..." The man started.
"What was it you called me? Obviously a hitman?" Wash asked, calm and cold. "I wonder why you think you can recognize someone in that profession. Have you met one? I mean, if there's any truth in what the kid says, I imagine a hitman would be very interested in you."
Then he smiled, razor sharp and dangerous. "But what are the chances of that?"
The man goes very pale at that and Hattori is side eyeing Wash super hard.
The man finally falls to his knees and says he had to do it, he had to, the victim was going to have them cut off some yakuza and he couldn't do that-
Wash is less than impressed and watches the guy get dragged away and Hattori sidles up to Wash.
"...you're not a hitman, are you?" He asked.
Wash snorted. "Of course not. I was in the military, but I never killed for money," Wash said. It is technically true. Money was never a motive. "But I know enough that anyone whose involved with weapons manufacturing and crime, likely they're working with someone who would kill them."
"You know we could have gotten a warrant," Hattori said.
"Yeah, but that guy pissed me off," Wash said.
Hattori chuckled at that. "I guess that's fair."
"Thanks for trusting me," Wash said.
Hattori shrugged. "Like I said, if Kudo trusts you, then there's good reason."
"You really need to stop saying his name," Wash said with a sigh.
"It's fine. Plenty of Kudos."
"If you say so."
And there's a disturbance at the door as someone tries to get inside. "Puma-nii!"
"Right on time. Thanks for clearing my name," Wash said, offering a wave to Hattori, who waves back as Wash walks away. He gently pushes past the cops to see a very distressed looking Aoko.
"Puma-nii! Are you okay? What happened?" She asked.
"It's fine. Just got caught in a murder investigation," Puma said.
Aoko stared at that a few beats. Then, her head goes into her hands and she laughs.